


The Missing Part.

by Gio_hannigram



Series: Nigels gifts [1]
Category: Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: Adam finds out, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Spacedogs, Whats love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gio_hannigram/pseuds/Gio_hannigram
Summary: Adam wonders what is love.Meeting Nigel may give him some answers.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [supastag (findo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/findo/gifts).



> Happy Birthday my beloved Nigel. I hope you like it.
> 
> I fucking love you, my sweet avocado.
> 
>  
> 
> Big thanks to the incredible life saver Rachel who edited this.

Adam kept wondering for a long time what love meant for the NT. He didn´t understand what was lost on him, why what he needed, why what he felt were not enough for Beth.

 

What was the difference? It was love, wasn´t it?

 

After his experience with Beth, Adam had found himself searching an answer; it was in his nature to want to understand when and why things didn´t work out. Romance was, it seemed, very complex. He read articles on the subject, watched movies, a few magazines, and asked Harlan more about it than the man seemed to be able to handle, since he didn´t like to talk much about feelings. But so far, he couldn’t understand what had been missing. What did he not tell her, do or feel?

 

Had it all been his lack of social communication´s fault?

For a long time Adam thought he wouldn´t find out. That his answers were hidden somewhere inside, somewhere only a neurotypical could reach.

Then he met Nigel.

 

A man who he had felt intimidated by the first time they greeted each other. Nigel was older and bigger than him. He was handsome, too.

There was something about him that Adam could not put his finger on.

He had thought nothing of the man after their first meeting. There was not much about it; they had only said “Good Evening, nice to meet you,” and that had been all.

But when Nigel started to appear in his work and tried to chat with him something changed. He would get a strange fluttering sensation in his stomach, his nerves would get high, his chest would contract, and it didn´t go away after taking painkillers. He felt as if there was something missing, as if he had forgotten something important. And then something even stranger happened; as soon as he saw Nigel, it would disappear. Nigel would smirk or smile at him and the void filled. The moment he started to call him names in another language and once Adam found out their meaning, those moments everything stopped. The pain, the strange sensation, everything would calm and he could take a deep breath and instead of the burning there was peace. It felt like when he finished a day with his routine perfectly or the times he was able to see yet another new part of hidden space with his telescope. It was more than contentment, it was overwhelming joyfulness that took over him at the very sight of the older man.

There were little details that he knew meant he was in love. He had felt a few of those symptoms when he started his relationship with Beth, even if it was not as profound.

There were differences - he had felt as if he missed Nigel, then he had started to need him there. He could understand how it was with Beth; he had seen in her someone to rely on, a person that would help him understand what he could not figure out on his own.

When Nigel wasn´t there, the pain would start, he would feel unsteady, looking around him not knowing at first what he was looking for, then he had realized what he was looking for. The need that took over him to just listen to Nigel´s voice pronouncing his name, to see his grin each time he teased Adam and made him blush.

It was a different need. He wanted Nigel to be there, sometimes so illogically that it would make him mad. He wanted to be able to know that he would be there at the end of the day, that he would be able to speak to him.

Nigel was the owner of a security company; he was directing and supervising a whole new system for the Observatory. Through the curse of his work he would make space to talk with Adam or just listen to him talk about what was in Adam´s mind at the time, always with attention, always asking when he didn´t understand something, always patient when Adam didn´t understand one of his jokes. And he always looked at him in the same way, in a way that made him feel his stomach twist pleasantly.

He had talked with Harlan about Nigel´s nicknames and what they meant. He was confused and a part of him didn´t know why if as Harlan said, Nigel was attracted to him, why had he not told him?

Adam feared he had misunderstood him. But what he feared the most was losing him without even confirming his theory that Nigel was also in love with him.

He had learned than actions spoke louder than words, knew what it was he had done wrong.

The last day Nigel was going to be at the observatory, Adam had prepared and rehashed a speech in which he would explain to Nigel exactly how he felt and try to be the most honest and clear that he could manage.

When he saw Nigel he ran to him, stood in front of him, took a deep breath and was about to start when Nigel greeted him with his favorite nickname " _lumina vietii mele"_ and his speech disappeared. He had also brought Adam´s lunch and something happened yet again. An impulse that was not unfamiliar, but stronger, and by the time he realized what had happened he was kissing Nigel. When he pulled away he understood what had been missinged when he looked into Nigel´s eyes and he couldn´t look away.

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 from Nigel´s POV will be up sometime this weekend.
> 
> Neurotypical or NT, an abbreviation of neurologically typical, is a neologism widely used in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum.
> 
> lumina vietii mele -Light of my Life.


End file.
